Bernard J. Kosar

August 26, 2007

Bernieweird     I’m pretty sure that’s not his real name, but by far the most people reach my site by googling “bernie kosar”, “bernie kosar drunk”, bernie kosar divorce”, or some combination of those.  I find this funny because I think I’ve made 2 posts lifetime about Bernie, but after every preseason game this site gets flooded by people trying to figure out what is wrong with Cleveland’s poster boy.

     I have no answers myself, but he was certainly in rare form last night.  It’s almost worth watching the entire game to listen to his juxtaposition of random bablings that sound like one word strung together to form a complete sentence, and occasionally very insightful commentary.  One minute he’s interrupting Jim Donovan mid sentence sounding like he just woke up from a coma, and the next he is spot-calling out defenses before the snap like he’s Rain Man.

I swear we are about 2 quarters away from Jim Donovan just breaking down and saying “So Bernie, how long has it been since your last fix?”

Oh, and apparently the Browns have no regard for my striped socks plea.  Sigh.


An Open Plea To The Cleveland Browns

August 21, 2007


I don’t write here anymore.  I’ve made about 3 posts this year.  But there’s a topic that desperately needs to be addressed.  It’s not which QB is going to lead us to a mediocre season this year, it’s not if Romeo is on the hot-seat, or if Brady likes women…no, the thing i’m most concerned about is the Brown’s socks.  The socks, and the uniforms that they are a part of have sunk to a disgraceful low.  (What follows will be a complete rip-off of the sublime Uni-Watch Blog form, only because i’m not that creative)

I’ve mentioned this on this site before, and I’m certainly not the only one who has commented on the issue.  However, the Browns apparently haven’t gotten the message.  THIS UNIFORM looks hideous.  I say that the uniform looks hideous only because the disgusting solid-colored socks ruin the whole thing.  It’s all I can look at.  And it’s frankly driving me crazy.  Any human with retinas can see that this look is much more pleasing to the eye than this look.  But why the change at all?

For those of you who don’t follow things of this nature so closely, here’s a brief review: 

First 55 years of existence:  The Browns wear striped socks almost exclusively.

Next 5 years (2002-now):  The Browns mix in, or wear exclusively solid colored socks.

This disturbing trend began as far as I can tell in the 2003 season.  However, at that time it was simply sprinkled in with the other uniform tinkerings that were park of the Butch Davis era.  Then, in the offseason prior to the 2006 season Randy Lerner made a comment about the Browns “returning” to their uniforms of the championship days.  They then rolled out modified uni’s that included a gray face mask, black shoes, and the dreaded solid socks. 

The problem with this?  AT NO POINT IN THE BROWNS HISTORY DID THEY EVER WEAR THIS UNIFORM!  Check for yourself.  Google it.  You won’t see Jim Freaking Brown ever wearing a uniform that had black shoes and sold brown socks (nor will you ever see any human with this hideous combination)!   Want more proof?  Check out this random google image search of various Browns Hall of Famers:

Otto Graham

Lou Groza

Dante Lavelli

Paul Warfield

Gene Hickerson

Marion Motley

You see the trend?  Orange and Brown?  Check. Grey facemask?  Sure. Black shoes?  Yes.  Solid Brown socks?  An complete and total UNCHECK!

 Memo to the Browns:  For the love of Eric Metcalf (who wore striped socks), don’t screw with the uniforms.  The Browns uniform is a study in the simple and understated.  No logo, nothing flashy, and that’s why we love the way it looks.  There was no reason to tinker in the first place, but now you’ve gone and created a frankenstein of a costume for our beloved team to wear.  And you’ve done so in the name of getting “back to” what the uni’s looked like?!?!

Please come to your senses and return the socks ot their natural state this year.  You did it for the first pre-season game.  Of course, you dashed my hopes in the second.  You’ve taken so much of what was Cleveland out of the “Cleveland Browns”, charged us for the right to purchase tickets, lie to us about injuries, lose twice a year to the Steelers, have given us losing season after losing season, and overall have given us 8 years of football that couldn’t be more fundamentally opposite to what Cleveland Browns Football is all about. 

Can’t we at least have the striped socks?