Bernard J. Kosar

     I’m pretty sure that’s not his real name, but by far the most people reach my site by googling “bernie kosar”, “bernie kosar drunk”, bernie kosar divorce”, or some combination of those.  I find this funny because I think I’ve made 2 posts lifetime about Bernie, but after every preseason game this site gets flooded by people trying to figure out what is wrong with Cleveland’s poster boy.

     I have no answers myself, but he was certainly in rare form last night.  It’s almost worth watching the entire game to listen to his juxtaposition of random bablings that sound like one word strung together to form a complete sentence, and occasionally very insightful commentary.  One minute he’s interrupting Jim Donovan mid sentence sounding like he just woke up from a coma, and the next he is spot-calling out defenses before the snap like he’s Rain Man.

I swear we are about 2 quarters away from Jim Donovan just breaking down and saying “So Bernie, how long has it been since your last fix?”

Oh, and apparently the Browns have no regard for my striped socks plea.  Sigh.

Browns Center Spooked By Cleveland Jinx, Retires.

Well, it’s not official, but Browns backup Center Bob Hallen has seen what happens to Cleveland Free Agents and draft picks, and is considering retirement.  Somehow I’m not surprised at all by this, and can  you really blame the guy?  I mean, if I just witness what happened to the guy I replaced, I would be looking for a way out as well.  This just adds another twist in what can only be described as a bizarre training camp.  So the Browns have brought in a myriad of centers to try and find a replacement, and at least one has not been in football for two seasons. 

Somewhere in Louisiana Jeff Faine is quitely laughing his ass off as he prepars to meet the Browns on Sept. 10th.

Your Cleveland Sports Roundup

 

Since I haven't been able to post much lately, I figured I would give a recap of the past week in the land of The Burning River.  Let's just say, it hasn't been good.

• The Indians have dropped to 15 games out.  This after getting swept by the mighty Beer drinkers of Wisconsin.  For a positive spin, they are now only 11.5 games out of last place.  Although, we did learn in the process that CC should probably be our DH.  Boy were we wrong for question Charlie Manuel about his ability to hit.
• Jason Johnson, it was good to know you.  Actually, it wasn't.  Was anybody really excited when we signed this guy to begin with?  He was at best mediocre for his career, and let's just say he wasn't at his best with us.  This does mean that we will finally get a look at Jeremy Sowers. 
• Mini-Camp was completed by the Browns, and the biggest news is that they don't like their QB situation.  Were they really shocked to find out that they can't find a servicable back-up between Ken Dorsey, Derek Anderson, Lang Campbell, et al?  Hell, many people could argue that their number 1 guy isn't even a number 1 guy at all.  There were also reports of Kellen Winslow being near 100% which is fantastic.  It's like getting another 1st round pick if that guy can play a full season this year.
• Just a quick fact:  between the Browns starting QB, and their backup, there is a combined 1 season worth of starts (16).  I don't think there's any doubt as to where the question marks will be this season. 
• And finally, the Bernie and Babette Kosar divorce saga just won't die.  Bernie went on WTAM yesterday saying how the allegations are way off base, and how he is still trying to mend things with his wife.  C'mon Babs, how you not take him back?  He's Bernie Kosar, Cleveland Legend.  Also, by far more people get to my site by searching for "babette kosar" than by any other means.  Weird.

(UPDATE:  Somehow Jason Johnson was already picked up by the Red Sox.  Wow.)

Larry Hughes Is In Love With a Stripper

    

     Since, I'm guessing, nobody visits this site for sports news, you've probably already seen this somewhere.  But, it's still worth bring up.  So apparently Larry Hughes, one week removed from tragic death of his brother and the Cavs game 7 defeat, felt that the best way to heal those wounds was hanging with some strippers.  Two of them. 

     This photo is priceless, and I think it actually makes me like Hughes a little more.  After all, nothing says "all a part of the mourning process" like hanging with strippers at Urban Beach Week in Miami.  I don't know what's better, the t-shirt, the dangerously young girls posing with him, or the smirk on his face.  Another example of your ticket prices at work!

Special thanks to Deadspin for bringing this to my attention.

We couldn’t go this long Without an Incident

Just when you thought we were in the clear this off-season, the Browns' Rueben Droughns reminds you that you are Browns fan and he pulls a litte domestic violence out of the bag.  Freaking unreal.  I guarantee that no charges are ever pressed, but that this become a huge distraction for the team all the way through training camp, probably culminating with a trial that will take place just before a Steeler's game that he won't be able to play in.

     Can we go one season without some serious off-field drama?  Hell, the last two years we haven't even gotten to the pre-season before someone loses their head.  I think next year we need to just lock up the whole team for the month of May.  Reuben now follows in the long line of domestic dispute, drunk driving, motorcycling, domestic dispute victim, drug use, partying with Plaxico Burress during the season, sleeping with William Green's wife (allegedly), and having women claim rape because they woke up naked in your house after a party (alegedly).  Ridiculous.

Bernie, Bernie

          So by now this isn't news, but it's worthing mentioning.  Apparently our hero, Bernie Kosar, and the Babs have hit the rocks.  That's fine, it happens.  People get divorced.  But the best part is her accusations and allegations against our side-armed slinger.  She is claiming that he has been acting "irationally and irresponibly."  So much so that she has asked a judge to order him to undergo a complete pyschiatric examination.  Additionally, she is requesting that he be forced to take a drug test, and claims that as proof of his irrational behavior he has been giving away money to family and friends. 

     I don't even know where to start on this one.  First off, when you're rich and you give away money to family and friends, that's call being a good friend Babette, that's what great individuals like Bernie Kosar do.  What have you done Babette?  Besides marry Bernie at an early age and leach off of his wealth?  I'm pretty sure The Burning River readers, and the rest of Cleveland are in agreement with me that Bernie could never do a thing wrong.  I mean, come one, look at the picture up there, he's Bernie Freaking Kosar–Cleveland Legend.

Bernie, if you need a place to stay, there's always room for one more here at The Burning River.